Tag Archives: relationships

weddings in olympia

26 Dec

After reading about the upcoming December 15 weddings in Olympia in the capitol rotunda, we decided we had to make a day trip up to Olympia to be part of history and congratulate the happy couples.

The weather outside was very cold and crummy, we arrived a bit late, and we didn’t know what to expect – but inside the capitol it was warm, welcoming, and busy with happy people.

the capitol rotunda

the capitol rotunda

card-front

program for the day

program for the day

Every so often we’d hear cheers from one of the balconies, signaling another couple finally getting their wish to legally marry. We hopped from floor to floor taking photos and passing out hearts, but there was no way to catch everything that was happening. And, in a way, it’s pretty cool to get to say that there was so much going on that there was no way to see all of it.

(Note: the lighting in the building is, shall we say, rather subdued, so we also had a hard time getting really good photos of what was going on. We regret we don’t have more to share, but we did find one nice album online and a few photos with an article in The Olympian, and would love to share any others we come across.)

near the end of a Native American ceremony - these ladies also provided the amazing cakes at the reception!

near the end of a Native American ceremony – these ladies also provided the amazing cakes at the reception!

another view of the rotunda

another view of the rotunda

the 0:00 wedding of ten couples

the 1:30 wedding of ten couples

onlookers as another couple gets married

onlookers as another couple gets married

a beautiful couple and their family and friends

a beautiful couple and their family and friends

a generous and delicious assortment of cakes at the reception

a generous and delicious assortment of cakes at the reception

It was a lovely afternoon where the spirit of love and community, even amongst those who had never met before, was clearly felt and expressed. One newlywed couple even invited us to their wedding dinner!

On our way out, we did a little replacement (he)art bombing since our hearts from October had disappeared one way or another. This time we were able to hang them in an act of celebration.

5634

5654

Advertisements

christopher’s poem

11 Dec

This poem was read by our friend Christopher Luna just before we cut our lovely wedding cake. We appreciate the ways that our creative friends helped to make our wedding beautiful, personal, and unique.

Christopher_weddingpoem

jenney’s poem

11 Dec

I did not come to you perfect.

Perhaps I was born perfect

as all children are thought to be,

but I was not destined to stay

complete in my innocence,

secure in my fragile,

sublime, and

undisturbed  youth.

Like you, I was picked

Up from the riverbed,

Smooth and pure

And gleaming,

and

Chosen for something

Other than a lifetime

Of soft experiences

And mild exchanges.

I was perfect but I

Was reimagined as

A plaything and

Hurled without

Warning into a

Brutal and extensive

Reckoning with the

world’s  dark teachers:

Bigotry and Ignorance,

Intolerance and Hate.

I wanted to stay perfect.

Pink and mewling,

Tender and untested,

The milk of love

fed to me

In a sweet

And unremitting

Stream.

Instead, I was cracked

Against the rocks and

Shell-scattered,

Bloody and pulsing,

Twisting in the ache

Of my soul’s deep and

Unrequited needs.

I wanted to be perfect,

But I couldn’t be perfect.

Damaged and betrayed,

Bitter and haunted,

I had to struggle onward

And gather my wreckage

And recreate a place within

Myself where I could construct

A stable and gentle pathway to

A greater identity and peace.

I did not come to you perfect.

And you did not want me perfect.

You wanted me bold in all my

Mess and glory, unapologetic

And unashamed, secure in my own

Worthiness , brave and unafraid.

You wanted the warm and rhythmic

beat of me,  the rich and fragrant

earth of me, the full and unchecked

power of all my intensity and heat.

You did not want me perfect,

You wanted me attentive and listening,

Able to hear your words and carry

Them, unresisting to their weight.

You wanted me decent and forgiving,

Fully present and awake,

released from self-defeating memories

of vindictiveness and blame.

You did not want me perfect,

You wanted me consistent in my

Kindness and unreserved in my regard,

Able to see your beauty clearly

And be at ease with your mistakes.

You wanted me to cherish the inner

Child of you but respect the inner

Warrior, to rejoice in my day to day

Life with you but forgive my moments

of restlessness and fear. You did not want

me perfect, you wanted me whole and flawed and

healing, able to look back and recognize my

story as the fuel  for my integrity and

strength.  You wanted me relaxed and amused

and laughing, able to look at this sometimes strange

and unjust  world as a playground of

delight.  You wanted me

treasured and connected,

guiltless and accepted,

sheltered in the care of you,

confident in the truth of you,

empowered by my trust of you,

dancing to the music of my

fierce and boundless pride of you.

You did not want me perfect.

You wanted me safe and loved and protected.

You wanted me as I wanted you…

As you are.

 

– Jenney Pauer

vows

10 Dec

wedding

[We wanted to share what was read at our wedding. So many people in attendance commented on how much they enjoyed it, and we think others will enjoy reading these words as well. As you may notice, our friend who officiated drew much inspiration from what we have done so far with Love is a Radical Act.]

Friends, family and community, if you would take your seats, make sure your cell phones are turned off and take a minute to really sink into this moment.

Be here and nowhere else–this is the only moment that matters, this present, this, right now.

Please allow yourself to feel deeply the love that is here today with us. If you want to laugh, please laugh out loud, if you feel the need to cry let the tears come, and if you want to applaud please do so with spirit.

Feel free to do what ever you need today to break the old rules of weddings. For we are breaking tradition here today. And we are, together, creating the wedding of Kelly and Sam.

*Processional*

“Love is a radical act. Taking the time to actually love someone, to truly value who they are rather than force them to be someone else, is a radical act. To value acts of love more than things is a radical act. It goes against what we are taught by society.”

Love is a radical act…true and real love shakes us to our very roots and changes our lives and our world in miraculous and incredible ways.

Today we come together to celebrate such a true, real and radical love, as we share in the wedding celebration of Kelly and Sam. A wedding that, in the old, traditional world of just last month could not have happened because it was unlawful.

But now, thanks to Kelly and Sam and thousands of other people– gay, straight, black, white, married, single–who fought for marriage equality in the courts, in the streets, and at the ballot box, gay people can now embrace all the protections, promises and problems that we straight people have always taken for granted. I’m excited to live in a time when marriage equality has become the law in our fine state. And as Washington goes…soon so goes the world!

Kelly and Sam are you ready to get married? (YES!)

Please join hands as Jenney reads her poem that your love inspired.

*Jenney reads*

Please join both hands and face each other:

Kelly, do you promise Sam to be her wife and partner in all senses of the word? To be loving, kind, dependable, supportive, fun, understanding and unconditionally accepting of who she really is?

(Kelly: I do)

Sam, do you promise Kelly to be her wife and partner in all senses of the word? To be loving, kind, dependable, supportive, fun, understanding and unconditionally accepting of who she really is?

(Sam: I do)

By your words it is made real. Through your pledge of marriage today, you make these promises, willing that they are just and true and lifelong.

Here are the rings that are an outward symbol of your inner commitment to each other. We choose rings because they symbolize a complete circle, never ending, just as your love will never end. Your rings were specially created of the platinum given to you by Jan, Sam’s mother. The red line that encircles them is a reminder of the love that entwines your hearts.

Kelly put this ring on Sam’s finger and repeat after me.
“I Kelly, take you, Sam, to be my wife.”

Sam put this ring on Kelly’s finger and repeat after me.
“I Sam take you Kelly to be my wife.”

Now that you have complicated your union with government, we have some paperwork. Let’s sign that marriage license.

*Signing of the marriage license*

Creating a loving marriage is a choice we make in every moment, of each and every day, to open our hearts more fully to love.

To connect to our partner with body, mind, heart and soul.

To realize that our differences make us stronger and more flexible to weather life’s storms and celebrate life’s gifts.

To choose to dig down deep to find the tiny sprouts and sparks of creation, to conceive together the supports we need to grow.

Marriage is facing the critic across the breakfast table, and reminding yourself that the challenges between you are creating a deeper commitment.

Creating a marriage is a fine piece of art which can only be made real if you both get your hands dirty.

Marriage is a shared bond with a greater community of souls.

It is continuing to open our hearts, which expands everyone’s capacity to grow.

Marriage is the completion of the circle of love, that leads you forward, again and again, to recreate your selves and the universe, every day, in every moment.

Marriage is a radical act that moves us and shakes us until our egos lie shattered in pieces and our hearts are free to soar together.

Your marriage is your greatest work of art and it requires the courage of a warrior, the curiosity of a child, the compassion of a saint, and the gratitude of a beggar.

By your exchange of promises today, the giving and receiving of rings, and them governmental papers, you have become wives for life.

With the power given me by the creative spirit, I do proclaim you lawfully married.

You may now kiss your wife.

Friends, family and community I present to you the happy couple–Kelly and Sam.

we’re getting married!

2 Dec

kelly&sam

I know we’ve been pretty quiet lately, but we’ve been extra busy with many things, the biggest one being our wedding! We had already decided to get married on the first day it was legal if marriage equality passed in Washington, so once we found out it was a done deal, we only had about a month to plan.

We did a couple of small (he)art bombings in November, one at a private residence and one at a book reading. The project has been on the back burner a little, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking about it every day.

We read about a mass wedding on December 15 in the state capitol building, and we are seriously considering driving up to Olympia to pass out hearts to all of the newlyweds and to give the city a fresh (he)art bombing. We’ll let everyone know if and when we decide that we are definitely going.

The biggest plans we have in the works is a trip down to San Francisco to (he)art bomb the bay area. We are so committed to this trip happening that the only wedding present we are asking for is contributions to our travel fund. We really hope we can meet our goal in a couple of months. If you can donate any amount, large or small, or help us spread the word, we would be very grateful.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us.

“love is a radical act” by sage

23 Oct

Zinester and distro owner Sage wrote this great blog post about Love is a Radical Act and what she’s doing with the hearts she bought.

Love is a Radical Act is an art installation created by Sam and Kelly. The ceramic hearts they made symbolize that loving one another for who they are is a radical act, and I couldn’t agree more. Allowing people to be themselves is the true act of love. I knew I wanted to participate in this awesome creative movement as soon as a friend had shared the website link on her Facebook page.

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. Big thanks to Sage for participating and for sharing the project with others. We hope you’ll be part of the project too!

hearts: from derrick & kurt

15 Oct

Recently we spent an afternoon with Derrick and Kurt, a delightful couple from California. They have been together just shy of 20 years. They are also one of the lucky couples that got to marry legally, in 2008, before Prop 8 passed.

Derrick and Kurt love to play tennis together, so they hung a couple of hearts at the park in North Hollywood where they play tennis weekly. Thanks for bringing Love is a Radical Act to California!

front page news

15 Oct

We’re super excited to be on the front page of today’s paper talking about marriage equality and Love is a Radical Act. This Saturday’s installation up in Olympia (and Sunday in Seattle) will be our biggest action before the election. Thanks to everyone for supporting those who engage in the radical act of love.

domestic violence awareness month at ywca

15 Oct

Earlier this month, we were invited to pass out hearts and share about Love is a Radical Act at the YWCA as part of their Purple Lights Ceremony, an event that raises awareness about domestic violence in our community and beyond. We were happy to share the message that with all of the hurtful relationships out there, we should always celebrate all families that are truly loving and supportive. Please, if any of your relationships are hurtful, do what needs to be done to fix it or leave.

 

installation event: love art gallery

3 Oct

We appreciate the warm welcome we got on Saturday at Love Art Gallery, both from owners Ruby and Ted and from the artists and community members who stopped by. We also appreciate the live music that was provided by Andrew Grade.

a table full of hearts ready to go

choosing the perfect hearts

one of the families that helped hang hearts

our fabulous guitarist and a statue that already had its own heart

dressed for the occasion

puppy love

we made sure to fancy up the surrounding area too

double love!